Sponge bath it is.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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