you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
