dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
