what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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