That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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