I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
