whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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