He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
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So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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