i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
