marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
