Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
