I wish I could teleport
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
