I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
