bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
