the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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