This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
