they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize