He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
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I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.