i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize