my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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