I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Randomize
