she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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