uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize