I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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