Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
