I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
