Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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