Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize