your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize