I heard we made out
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
