Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
