Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
