I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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