I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
