she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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