Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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