yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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