There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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