sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
