Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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