Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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