I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize