Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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