you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize