i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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