Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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