FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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