who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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