my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
