Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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