It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have aggressive nipples.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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