shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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