k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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