I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
