All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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