Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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