I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
