Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
