I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
